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The only thing that could save that boring summer
with sudies were those
two large weeks when my parents were on holiday leaving me home alone.
I was twenty years old and many things to find out.
I was not an ugly boy, in fact, some girls had told me that they wanted
to go out with me. The problem was that I was so shy that I could not
even be friends with a girl. It is not surprising, then, that this
situation made me doubt a lot about my sexuality. When it came to think
about having sex with them, I got very nervous since I did not know
what they hoped from me or what they wanted me to do or behave. So I
was never able to reach an orgasm when masturbating because of my
mental pressure. However, subsconsciently, in one of my frustrated
handjobs I thought that having sex with a man would be easier because I
would know what he likes as that is what I like. That thought both
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